So how did I get here?
Here's a little summary of how and why I became a parenting coach.
Going back nearly 12 years
I was pregnant with my first child, I remember someone asking me: “Are you nervous?”
Turns out he was also expecting his first child.
I was so surprised by this question. The only thing that came to mind was: “Nervous about what? Childbirth?”
Like many first-time moms I couldn’t see beyond that point, and maybe I was also concerned about this sleep deprivation I had heard about. It seemed to me that beyond that it would just be a walk in the park. I was the first of my friends to have a baby so I had no idea what to expect or why else I should be nervous.
So this concerned citizen clarified himself and said: “no, aren’t you scared of screwing up the kid? I mean, one can really screw up a kid!”
I gave him a blank stare; I didn’t even blink. What on earth was he talking about? Screwing up a kid? How hard could it be? Our parents did it, it’s just going to flow and come naturally. And besides, having kids was my dream! It’s what I always wanted and I felt like it would fulfill me in every possible way. This was it, living out my purpose, my destiny, there is no way that “I” could screw up a kid.
Flash forward about 7-8 years
I have a brilliant and very hard-headed second-grader, an adorable and charming chubby-cheeked 4-year old, and a quiet baby in my arms who was barely a few months old. It's homework time, I am sitting at the dining table, baby on lap, preschooler by my side and my 7-year old is walking up the stairs screaming at the top of his lungs that he just WILL NOT do his homework. All I could do, was scream back that “OH YES YOU WILL! AND I WILL HAVE THE LAST WORD!” This went on for awhile. And it happened more than once, in fact at the time it was a pretty regular occurrence.
It had already occurred to me that yelling was pointless, that kids don’t even know what you’re saying when you’re barking at them, but I was exhausted, overwhelmed and had no other way, no other tools to get his cooperation. And truthfully, no amount of yelling ever got his cooperation. Who cooperates willingly, and learns something after yelling and threatening? Do adults perform well at work under such circumstances?
It wasn’t long after that a friend of mine bought me my first parenting book, Dr Shefali Tsabary's The Awakened Family. I looked at it with the same look I gave that guy 8 years prior, the confused blank stare. I started reading it very reluctantly, strongly disliking the message that the source of my reactions were always within me and not within my child. But as I turned the pages I started to get it. Then I just couldn't get enough of it and I was hooked. I moved on to read her other two books and finding many more mentors who share complimentary ideas and strategies. I knew very quickly that I wanted to help other struggling parents change their perspective. I was driven to give them the support they need to parent their children from a place that just feels good.
What I really want, is to help parents become light-hearted!
This is what led me to obtain my certification, and with that, I hope to be able to inspire you to make a positive change in your family.